Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
