You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hippo gnu deer
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
he just fucked me for my cheese..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
