The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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