How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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