Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
