I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
