You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
