ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
