I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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