I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize