watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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