If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
