Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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