Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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