I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
