Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
