you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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