Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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