That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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