Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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