Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
bring money and cleavage
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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