i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
