Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
