EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
