why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
