yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
