Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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