Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
