and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
