Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So apparently I’m into choking now
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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