Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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