We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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