I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
