didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
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She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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