i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
