So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
