I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
How external is "for external use only"?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
