I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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