tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
