a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
