Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
