btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We talked him into tasing himself.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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