Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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