High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
