First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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