Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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