I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
