Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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