he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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