Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
