Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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