What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
