in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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