i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
