I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
