i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
