singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
