Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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