Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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