I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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