is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
