All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
