If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
