this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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