I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
